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Dear Log Cabin Republicans

Regarding your press release in response to Obama's proclamation on marriage equality yesterday ~

“That the president has chosen today, when LGBT Americans are mourning the passage of Amendment One, to finally speak up for marriage equality is offensive and callous.  Log Cabin Republicans appreciate that President Obama has finally come in line with leaders like Vice President Dick Cheney on this issue, but LGBT Americans are right to be angry that this calculated announcement comes too late to be of any use to the people of North Carolina, or any of the other states that have addressed this issue on his watch. This administration has manipulated LGBT families for political gain as much as anybody, and after his campaign’s ridiculous contortions to deny support for marriage equality this week he does not deserve praise for an announcement that comes a day late and a dollar short.”

I just have to ask ~

What planet do you people live on?

Offensive and callous?  You're kidding, right?  The Republican Party has made a sport of lying about gay people for the sole purpose of winning votes and you're going to call Obama's statement on equality callous because you don't like the way it was timed?  Seriously?  Of course his timing was suspect!  Maybe he was a day late and a dollar short.  The Republicans, however, are running Mitt Romney.  What time table is he on exactly and where is his dollar?  When it comes to donating to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints he's always right on time and never seems to be lacking for a dollar ~ or a stock option.  You remember the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, right?  They're the ones who poured money into California over Prop 8.  Perhaps you've forgotten which side they were fighting on ~ and whose money they appear to have been fighting with.

According to you, Obama has "manipulated LGBT families for political gain."  Interesting you should mention LGBT families.  If your party has its way the United States Constitution will be amended to extinguish those LGBT families that do exist and prevent any more from forming.  And, for the sake of argument, let's say that we are being manipulated by Obama and his team of merry panderers.  You know what I say to that?  Fanfuckingtastic!!!  Hey Mitt, feel free to stop being openly hostile towards the LGBT community and start attempting to manipulate us at any time.  I guarantee you, you will have more fun pandering to us at a Pride event than pandering to the religious right in a megachurch.

Oddly, your press release failed to mention that Obama signed the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act into law.  It failed to mention the repeal of DADT or that he stopped defending DOMA in court.  If these were all acts of manipulation, then bring on four more years!  Will Mitt be half as manipulative if he becomes our president?  Would John McCain have been?

Yesterday was historic.  Was it perfect?  No.  But it was historic.  It was the first time that Americans heard their sitting president say he believes in full LGBT equality.  Did he soften it by talking about state's rights?  Absolutely.  But I find it unlikely that any future Democratic presidential candidate will be able to revert to the rhetoric of inequality.  Barack Obama pushed us forward yesterday.  And what were the Republicans doing?  White knuckling the past.  Oh, and penning petty press releases.

Yesterday was huge and it was cause for celebration.  Until you can come up with some GOP candidates who don't attempt to win votes by creating fear of a gay apocalypse (talk about manipulation!) ~ until the Republican primary debates cease to be the Ironman of bigotry ~ until we have GOP leaders who believe fully in equal rights for LGBT citizens ~ your statement about Obama's timing will continue to seem vindictive and childish.

Sincerely, Ian Rosen

If you like this post and want to read more posts like it ~ along with some pop culture, arts & entertainment, thoughts on aging and a bunch of other interesting, bizarre and funny stuff, look for my new website, FuckYou40.com, coming soon to an interwebs near you!  You can follow me on Twitter now @FuckYou40com.

Facebook Clicking Will Not Change the World, We Have Work To Do

Yesterday, North Carolina passed Amendment One.  My Facebook page went crazy with anger.  Lots of "I'm never going to North Carolina again"s.

Well, the truth is that that are constitutional amendments banning marriage equality in one form or another in the majority of states.  Thirty to be exact. (Actually, thirty-one, but I'm mildly confused as to what the hell is going on in Hawaii.)  If we are going to boycott states, we need to boycott:  Alaska, Nevada, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Oregon, Colorado, Tennessee, Arizona, California, Nebraska, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Utah, Kansas, Texas, Alabama, Idaho, South Carolina, South Dakota, Wisconsin, Florida, Michigan, Virginia and now North Carolina. (When I took the screenshot of the map above, from Wikipedia, North Carolina hadn't been updated yet, so it appears to have no constitutional amendment.)

Our opponents have an easier job than we do.  They reach into the dark part of the heart ~ the part in each and every one of us that is viscerally afraid of the other ~ of the different ~ and they manipulate that fear and lay the blame for our collective ills squarely at the feet of someone else.  Someone different.  Frankly, it's the reality show version of politics.  It trades on the same instinct in us that likes Jersey Shore and the Real Housewives franchise because it makes us feel better about ourselves by making others seem utterly horrific.  It's not new.  It's not difficult.  And it is successful.

Here's the hard part.  It is not enough to take to Facebook and tell each state to "Suck it."  It is not enough to be "ashamed of our country."  If you find that you are ashamed of our country, then it's time to create a country you can be proud of.  Change does not happen on its own.  We are right.  We are on the right side of history.  Unfortunately, being right doesn't necessarily mean winning and it certainly doesn't mean easy.  Our job is more difficult.  It requires more stamina.  It requires that we go into our communities and make change, one person at a time.  It is up to each and every one of us.  It's up to me.  It's up to you.  Go online.  Find your local HRC chapter.  Find your local GLSN.  PFLAG.  GLAAD.  Find local organizations near you and give of yourself.  

June is almost here and coast to coast Prides are coming up.  Have you ever wondered why Pride is so much fun?  Because it is a place where we can relax ~ where we are unlikely to encounter violence and where the voices which condemn us are relegated to the role of cartoonish, marginalized caricatures.  It is a day where they are the minority.  Pride is fun because we can hold our partner's hand with the unselfconscious ease afforded to our straight friends and family every single day of their lives.  Wouldn't it be great to go home and begin to make that uncommon ease common ~ every day, on every street and in every community?  This year, use Pride to discover your inner activist.  It is a great a resource.  The booths are there.  Sign up.  Walk away from Pride proud that you are getting involved and helping to change the world.  Imagine what could be accomplished if every person at every Pride did that!

It is our responsibility to our children to do something.  These laws affect us as adults, but they affect our LGBT children more profoundly.  Our children are the most vulnerable, because they are powerless and because the cement has not yet dried on their psyche.  These laws send a clear message that they are not wanted, that there is something wrong with them.  They provide a framework for bullies to justify their bullying and for parents to justify their lack of acceptance.  They make it easier for parents to throw their LGBT children out of their homes.  They force our children to live in a world where ignorance and bigotry are supported by law.  They lay the groundwork for depression and suicide all the while providing safe harbor for hatred.

We must do what we can.  With our time.  With our money.  With our talents, our humor, our strength, our stories, our voices.  We owe it to our children not to stop at Facebook clicks.  We owe it to our children to change minds and hearts, each in our own way.  One mind ~ one heart at a time.

What will you do?


If you like this post and want to read more posts like it ~ along with some pop culture, arts & entertainment, thoughts on aging and a bunch of other interesting, bizarre and funny stuff, look for my new website, FuckYou40.com, coming soon to an interwebs near you!  You can follow me on Twitter now @FuckYou40com.

North Carolina, Amendment One & Collateral Damage

If I hear another commentator repeat how one of the unintended consequences of passing Amendment One will be to dissolve straight families currently bound by domestic partnerships I'm going to lose my mind.

I have been following the coverage on tv, on the radio, online and in print.  I suppose one might call this obsessive, but I tend to take it very personally when the citizens of this country get together to vote on whether or not I am wanted here.  I'm sensitive like that.  Call me crazy.

I'm used to hearing from the other side ~ the side that would roll back all the civil rights advances the LGBT community has made in the past few decades.  I'm used to their lies, their hate.  I'm used to taking deep breaths and reminding myself that their job is easier than ours ~ that misunderstanding is easier to ignite than understanding ~ that teaching is a marathon and hate is a sprint.  I'm used to it.  I'm used to hearing untrue things said about me on a daily basis and watching as people spew their lies from credible platforms, giving their hateful rhetoric the sheen of meaningful, thoughtful opinion.  I'm used to it.  It is what it is.

What has driven me nearly apoplectic listening to the coverage are the voices that come from our allies as they discuss the sad fact that Amendment One will nullify all domestic partnerships ~ ie. it's going to affect straight people.  Oh no!  Horror of horrors!  It's going to affect straight people!!!  (Witness Bill Clinton's robocall.)  I'm sick and tired of hearing how families ~ straight families ~ will be harmed by this amendment.  I keep hearing about health insurance and the children of domestic partnerships.  I keep hearing about the fact that these families are going to be legally torn apart and how horrible that will be.  You know what?  I don't give a shit!  This amendment is intended to ensure that no gay relationships are legally recognized.  Ever.  It's a bigoted Constitutional amendment meant to sit on top of an already existing bigoted law.  Its purpose is to ensure that LGBT citizens are pushed to the margins.  Period.  End of story.  It is mean-spirited and spiteful and ultimately seeks to amend not just the constitution, but the very existence of gay people from the state of North Carolina.  Its purpose is to destroy gay families, create insurmountable legal obstacles for us and perpetuate a social climate so hostile that it is nearly impossible to live there.  This amendment says, "You are not welcome here."  That is the point!  Why isn't that the story?   Frankly, I don't care that some straight families will be adversely affected.  For starters, they can get married!  Can the same be said for gay couples?  So you'll pardon me if I don't shed a tear for the straight families that are collateral damage to the perpetual blitzkriegs gay families endure.

At the end of the day, pass or fail, there will still be a legal system in place for straight couples to wrap themselves in.

Watch the video below to witness one story ~ one of many ~ of the consequences of having nothing to wrap yourself in.

If you like this post and want to read more posts like it ~ along with some pop culture, arts & entertainment, thoughts on aging and a bunch of other interesting, bizarre and funny stuff, look for my new website, FuckYou40.com, coming soon to an interwebs near you!  You can follow me on Twitter now @FuckYou40com.

Bill Clinton Speaks Out Against Amendment One in North Carolina

Bill Clinton came out against Amendment One in North Carolina last week.  While I found this declaration to be a little late in coming, I was thrilled to find out that he had decided to use his considerable name recognition and power to help us out.  Then I heard his statement and was, frankly, annoyed.

The text of Bill Clinton's robocall:

"Hello, this is President Bill Clinton. I’m calling to urge you to vote against Amendment One on Tuesday May 8. If it passes, it won’t change North Carolina’s law on marriage. What it will change is North Carolina’s ability to keep good businesses, attract new jobs, and attract and keep talented entrepreneurs. If it passes, your ability to keep those businesses, get those jobs, and get those talented entrepreneurs will be weakened. And losing even one job to Amendment One is too big of a risk. Its passage will also take away health insurance from children and could even take away domestic violence protections from women. So the real effect of the law is not to keep the traditional definition of marriage, you’ve already done that. The real effect of the law will be to hurt families and drive away jobs. North Carolina can do better. Again, this is Bill Clinton asking you to please vote against Amendment One. Thanks."

Am I the only person who finds this statement disturbing?  I realize that this is politics and I realize we're fighting an uphill battle in North Carolina.  I realize a lot of things ~ like I should probably not look a gift horse in the mouth ~ like I should just be happy that he's decided to speak out about this.

But I'm not.

"So the real effect of the law is not to keep the traditional definition of marriage, you’ve already done that. The real effect of the law will be to hurt families and drive away jobs."

To my ears, this makes it seem like it's ok to discriminate against the LGBT community as long as no straight families are hurt in the process.  As if to say ~ It's ok, y'all.  No harm, no foul.  Discriminating against the gays is fine.  The real trouble comes when the laws get so paranoid and overblown that even straight people become affected.  The real trouble comes when the laws hurt families!  

Guess what, Bill?  The laws already hurt families!  They hurt gay families!

I don't know.  Maybe I'm asking too much.  Maybe I'm just not understanding that mentioning equal rights for everyone would be a losing argument.  Maybe I live in New York and I don't understand the South or religion or the depth of the bigotry and ignorance regarding LGBT issues.  Maybe a lot of things.  But the wording of this statement made my skin crawl. 

To hear the robocall, click here.

If you like this post and want to read more posts like it ~ along with some pop culture, arts & entertainment, thoughts on aging and a bunch of other interesting, bizarre and funny stuff, look for my new website, FuckYou40.com, coming soon to an interwebs near you!  You can follow me on Twitter now @FuckYou40com.

Hard Up

The conflicting signals I’ve been getting from the contentious birth control debates of the past few weeks have left me a dazed and confused. Rush Limbaugh called Sandra Fluke a "slut" and a “prostitute” for testifying that birth control ought to be covered by insurance companies. He suggested that her parents shouldn’t be proud of her and that she should stream videos of her sexual encounters on the internet, reasoning that if our tax dollars are going to pay for her sluttiness, the least we should get as a return on our investment is some amount of voyeuristic pleasure. He was not alone in his criticism. Famous for playing Deborah, Ray’s long-suffering wife on “Everybody Loves Raymond,” Patricia Heaton fired off a series of tweets condemning Fluke. Ann Coulter didn’t take long to weigh in either.

The truth is that Ms. Fluke was neither referring to contraception as birth control nor was she even talking about herself. And her testimony had nothing whatsoever to do with having “taxpayers pay her to have sex,” as Rush would have us believe. She was talking about birth control coverage by private insurance companies for the purpose of treating ovarian cysts. But Rush has never been particularly moved by facts. A professional peddler of inaccuracies, Rush bridled at the mere thought that a woman would stand up and demand affordable contraception as part of her overall healthcare. It was enough to render the facts, which proved no match for the ease with which one can mischaracterize a woman, utterly pointless. She’s clearly just a slut.

On the other hand, I’ve never heard a peep about the fact that Viagra is covered by insurance. Nary a single voice raised in anger. No Capital Hill testimony. None of the usual scrubbed, coiffed, cufflinked Beltway punditry leapfrogging the Sunday morning talk-show circuit debating differing views while sitting around impossibly fingerprint-free, glass-topped tables. Nothing. And I’ve never heard of a man being criticized, lied about or generally degraded for using the drug. Quite the contrary. Men get called names for not being able to have sex, not for having too much of it. Is there even a word, derogatory or not, for a heterosexual man who has too much sex ~ a word other than "lucky"?

Trying to disentangle this thicket of double standards has given me an ice-cream headache and has led me to the conclusion that birth control for women is bad, because women are not supposed to have sex, but medication that makes men more able to have sex is good, because men are.

Interesting. And confusing.

I can’t figure out what it is exactly that red-blooded, healthy American male men are supposed to do with their co-pay'd, 12 hour Super Erections if women aren't supposed to have sex with them. In layman's terms: Who are these men supposed to be fucking?

For weeks I have been trying to make sense of these contradictory messages and I just. Can't. Do it. All I can come up with is that our legislators ~ those fierce protectors of female morality yet strong proponents of male virility ~ surely have other possible uses in mind for medically induced hard-ons ~ uses that have nothing whatsoever to do with women. I’ve been brainstorming my own list and I have to tell you, there just aren't that many options. This is what I've come up with so far:

• Coat rack.

• Masturbation. Awesome. But I find it difficult to believe that private insurance companies would cover, and therefore (world according to Rush) use tax dollars to fund organ solos. Seriously, we’d be bankrupt in a matter of weeks and every man in the country would resemble a fiddler crab.

•Mano y mano sex. Hot! But the proponents of the Ladies, Put a Penny Between Your Knees movement tend to be the same folks who aren’t so keen on man-on-man action. I think that more of a stink would have been made over coverage which helps ensure that gay guys go at it better, harder and longer.

Wait. This can’t be right. Penises are for vaginas. Always. Sex is exclusively for procreative purposes, right? I get it! Insurance subsidized Viagra must be meant for use solely for the singularly correct, government condoned, Biblically approved purpose of heterosexual, penile/vaginal procreative sex that exists strictly within the confines of marriage.

Interesting. And confusing.

Where are the regulations?

There is a law currently making its way through the Arizona legislature that, if passed, would force a woman to explain to her employer why she wants birth control. Health reasons are acceptable. Slutty reasons, not so much. (I’m not making this up. Click here to read about it.)

All things being equal, men should have to provide a whole heap of information to their employers before they get that prescription filled, no?

• The patient should be forced prove his heterosexuality. Of course, this could be difficult, considering he's seeking treatment for erectile dysfunction.

• He must prove his marital status and that he will never use the Viagra to bone his wife's best friend, his secretary, an intern or any other woman capable of easing his transition into mid-life.

• He must get his sperm tested. Again, could be difficult considering his situation, but this is government money we're talking about. No Viagra if you're shootin' blanks.

Also,

• A government official must surely witness the conception to ensure that no fun was had during intercourse. This is not about fun. This is about procreation. You want it covered? Then it had better be a somber and austere event.

• A hefty fine should be levied against each Viagra'd act of love making that doesn't result in a pregnancy.

But where are these regulations? Where is the name calling? Where are they purveyors of male morality? Where is the outrage?

Why the silence?

Interesting. And confusing.

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss

Theodor Geisel’s birthday's today!

He would have been one hundred eight.

He brought to us the joy of words

With the worlds he did create.

To us he gave

A Cat in a Hat,

A Lorax, a Grinch and a King Looie Katz.

He showed us the world and its many wonders.

He taught us to embrace our blunders.

I think he’d find it sad today

That parents read from screens of gray

And click the pages next to next

To see what happens in the text.

To history is left the flipping.

The torn, worn pages.

The fingers gripping.

But I shouldn't endeavor, whatsoever,

To put words in a mouth

So bold, so clever.

So simply: Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss!

Your words will live forever.