Like Sands Through the Hourglass

I haven't disappeared.  Nor have I given up on my blog.  

Life has just gotten busy lately.  

I'm slightly overwhelmed by work.  While it's a blessing to have work to be overwhelmed by, it's still overwhelming.  

Our kitchen renovation is - I hate to repeat the same word, but... - also overwhelming.  And a full time job.  Again, I understand that it's a blessing to be overwhelmed by your renovated kitchen.  I'm aware of that.  But still...

And finally and most importantly, I currently have a few friends going through some difficult times - actually difficult, not the too much work/kitchen renovation variety I'm going through.  I guess I'd rather be there for them than blog.  Maybe there's a selfishness to being an artist that I just don't possess.  That's not to say that I'm not capable of more than my fair share of selfishness.  But there's a certain skill having to do with blinders that I just don't have.  I want to be there, as much as I can, for my friends.  Otherwise, what's the point?

One day, in the hopefully far, far distant future, I will leave this world.  I would love to leave something tangible.  Something human and provocative and so intimate and specific that it reverberates universally.  Something that connects us.

But I'd also love to leave this world having touched those that I love. 

So, considering that time is finite - considering that days are only so long and that choices must be made -  my blogging has suffered. 

Suffered.  But not been surrendered.

More, much more, tomorrow.

Hope

There is a small glimmer of hope in the fight against A.I.D.S.  A recent study found that a vaccine had some effect.  True, those words don't exactly conjure images of rejoicing in the streets.  However, when viewed in light of the fact that in the history of A.I.D.S. research there have been no vaccines produced that can even remotely be called successful, this is an incredible moment.  It seems that no one knows why it worked in some and not in most.  But it opens scientists up to new questions.  Hopefully to more specific and more complex questions.  And hopefully it is the beginning of the path that leads to the total eradication of this horrible disease.  There is hope.

You may recall from a few days ago (or was it yesterday?) a story I mentioned about a gay college student in North Carolina receiving a rather hateful note.  On Wednesday, roughly 400 people gathered to condemn this hateful act.  There is hope.

According to Rep. Steve King (R-IA), gay marriage is "a radical social idea" and "is a purely socialist concept in the final analysis."  This leap in logic is pretty astounding.  Until you realize that, sadly, it's not.  When you read about these people day in and day out you begin to understand how they think.  It's a little bit like being Jodie Foster in Silence of the Lambs.  I'm pretty sure the logic went like this:  "What will scare the hell out of my constituents?  What can I say that will make no rational sense whatsoever but will strike fear right into the very soul of my listeners?  I know, I'll use the words 'radical' and 'socialist.'"  Because...you know...socialist governments have historically been exemplary in their treatment of gay people (go to this link and scroll down to "state repression").  

He also makes a point of saying that we're pushing the issue of marriage equality because we "want access to public funds and resources."  Well, here's the thing:  Of course we do, Jackass!!!  Of course, when he says it it's scary and ominous.  Why?  Because it implies that we aren't already here, that we don't already pay taxes and that we aren't already part of the public.  The implication is that we'd be wanting something for nothing; that we'd be stealing from "real" Americans.  Maybe it's more David Copperfield than Clarisse Starling.  It's got a sleight of hand feel to it.  Or maybe he and his voting base think that everyone should pay taxes but only those people they like should have access to the services provided by that money.

A 51 year old census worker, substitute teacher and single father was found hung from a tree in Kentucky with the word "fed" written across his chest.  I'm always amazed at the things we are capable of doing to one another.

One of my heros, Barney Frank, testified before the House on the Employment Non-Discrimination Act.  His simple, wonderful, brilliant testimony could be called "ENDA for Dummies."  There is hope.

The fight to repeal Prop 8 has begun.  You can read the wording of the proposed amendment to the California Constitution by clicking on this link.  There is hope.

So ACORN had a big scandal and everyone in Washington jumped up and down and said this is unacceptable.  We can't fund pimping and prostitution.  This just won't do!  And they passed the Defund ACORN Act.  Makes sense.  Makes perfect sense.  Except that the Act was passed so hastily that its wording could conceivably take down the entire military-industrial complex.  An article by Jason Linkins also points out that the scope of ACORN's fraud is barely a blip on the radar screen when compared with some of the other fraud being investigated right at this very moment.

There is water on the moon.  There is hope.

More tomorrow.

One Phone Call at a Time

Tonight I made phone calls for HRC on behalf of the Corzine campaign.  Governor Corzine is supportive of equal rights for all New Jerseyans.  That includes my right to marry Rick, my partner of over 11 years.  Chris Christie, his opponent, is very clear that he will support no such legislation.  I am in no way a one issue voter, but this one carries a lot of weight for me.  Do you see me as equal or not?  It's very simple. 

I find making cold calls extremely nerve wracking.  There is a lot of information you need to keep at your fingertips.  And there's a conversational tone that you need to keep at the same time.  And, having gotten my share of calls at home, during dinner, I'm aware that solicitation calls of any kind might not be met with an open mind.  Suffice it to say, I don't much like doing it.  But it's important work.  And a beer helped calm my nerves.  

I spent a few hours finding out where people are in terms of their vote and if they'd be willing to volunteer.  I noticed that a lot of people are extremely busy at work and simply don't have time to help out.  Apparently the only people in the country right now who have work are the people one asks to volunteer.  Interesting.  But that's neither here nor there.  Doing something feels good.  Even something small.  Every little bit helps.  

These are some of the things I kept in mind tonight as I was going through my lists, making calls and hoping to change the world - one phone call at a time:

Annise Parker, a Houston mayoral candidate and out lesbian, had to contend with an email sent out by her opponent.  Here is a sample of some of the words used in that email:  "lifestyle," "role model," "Bible," "lifestyle," "scripture," "lifestyle," "God."

Today I came across this recycled add - literally - from Prop 8.  This time it's being used for Question 1 in Maine.  The gist of the ad?  Allowing marriage equality to continue in Maine will destroy Maine's children.  And by destroy I mean turn them gay.  The defenders of inequality do seem fond of going back to that well again and again and again.  And once again the argument is based on the idea that all people (children) are straight until they are taught (recruited) to be gay.  Taken to its conclusion, if we stop "teaching" kids that there are gay people in the world, then gay people will cease to exist, which is really the point of all of these campaigns.  

Now, does that bear any relation to anyone's sexual awakening or understanding?  Anyone?  Let me know.

ENDA (the Employment Non-Discrimination Act - an act that would protect against workplace discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity) had its first hearing in the House today.  Finally!  Here are some of the words and expressions used on thelastcrusade.org to describe this long overdue piece of legislation:    "perversity," "hell," "designed to strip all American business owners of their First Amendment rights," "forced," "deviant," "morality."  To be fair, most of the comments below the blog are in favor of equal rights for the LGBT community.  The way I see it, if the people reading thelastcrusade.org are in favor of marriage equality and ENDA, maybe things aren't so bad after all!

But then I saw these two hateful videos of Reverend Harry Jackson, Jr. speaking at the Values Voters Summit last weekend.  As with many things I post, there's too much to say.  I would love to say that he's not worth my time, but he awakens people's fears.  And I find that very much worth my time.  Spreading hate on the wings of fear is dangerous.  Listen to his words and the crowd's reaction.  It is horrific.

In South Africa, a lesbian football star was gang raped, brutally stabbed numerous times (which resulted in her death), dragged "naked towards a stream and dumped."   While some claim that the attack was not motivated by her sexuality, activists claim that it was a "corrective rape," something not uncommon in South Africa.  One of the men who took part in the attack will be going to jail for life.

Deviant.  God.  Bible. Perversity.  Hell.

In other news, Qaddafi stood up in front of the UN...alright, he really isn't worth my time.  He's an insane, brutal, murderous man - who stood in front of the UN and complained about how they haven't sanctioned or investigated insane, brutal, murderous men.

And finally, Obama is making a lot of headlines.  He's on a lot of talk shows.  He's everywhere discussing everything.  Or maybe not.  His education reform seems to be on the dl.  If doing this quietly is what it takes to get it done, then do it quietly Mr. President.  Wait.  Maybe I shouldn't be posting that article here.  

More tomorrow.

No Religion. No God.

Forgive me for not writing yesterday.  When they tell you that gutting your kitchen is "inconvenient," they're not kidding.  Of course it's difficult to whine about spending a lot of money on a brand new kitchen.  I'm sure I'm going to.  But I know that I shouldn't.

So, today...

The devil makes you gay.  If you have faith you can "overcome" same-sex attraction.  Through faith and prayer, you too can be made "normal."  Being gay is not in the DNA.  And the APA was wrong when it removed homosexuality from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders in 1973.  That's pretty much what Elder Bruce Hafen, a member of LDS, told the 19th annual conference of Evergreen International, "a nonprofit group that helps Mormons 'overcome homosexual behavior' and 'diminish same-sex attraction.'"  Historically, faith and science have been at odds with one another.  Adversarial.  And yet here is Bruce Hafen bringing them together.  If you hate enough, you can overcome anything.  Facts.  Reason.  Logic.  Science.  Congratulations Bruce, for holding true to your prejudiced convictions in spite of any and all evidence!  

A gay college student in North Carolina had a note delivered to him via a rock through his window.  It read:  "You don't deserve life like the rest of the world. It's bad enough with out all the gay crap pulling people down. It's sick, unnatural, and death is almost too good for you. Almost."

Jan Brewer, Janet Napolitano's replacement as the Governor of Arizona, believes "that God has placed me in this powerful position of Arizona's governor to help guide our state through the difficulties that we are currently facing."

She has recently rescinded the domestic partnership benefits that then Governor Napolitano made a reality for state employees in Arizona.  Was it really fiscal responsibility that made her do it?  Or was it God?  Or was it a combination - fiscal responsibility paid for by treating Arizona's gay state workers as second class citizens because God told her that gays don't deserve equality.

As we fight for the right to marry, some must now fight for the right to divorce.  It seems that we just can't win.

I don't even have a comment for what Tom Coburn's (R-Oklahoma) Chief of Staff said at the Values Voters Summit last weekend.  There's just too much to say and it would take too much energy.

John Stewart of the Iowa Family Policy Center wonders why infertile couples, older couples, or couples who just don't want to have children would want to get married.  I agree.  It would be so silly to want all those laws and protections and responsibilities when you could just be roommates (wait, should unmarried couples live together?).  It would be so silly to stand up in front of friends and relatives and declare your love and commitment to one another if there aren't going to be any children involved.  What if you want children when you get married, but then change your mind?  Does the marriage dissolve?  Questions to ponder.

Ninety-two percent of Iowans report that marriage equality has brought "no real change to their lives."  That said, forty percent say they would vote for a constitutional amendment to ban it.  Now that's interesting.  It doesn't affect me, but I don't want you to be able to do it.  

I'm still waiting - and I imagine that I will be waiting for a very long time - for someone to give me one reason why my life is abhorrent or why I'm currently forced to fight for my equal rights as an American without using religion or God.  One reason.  No religion.  No God.  And just not using the words doesn't count.  If the argument is predicated on religion or God, the reason is disqualified.  No religion.  No God.  Go...

In fun news - no, no Michele Bachmann today, sorry - the brilliant Taylor Branch (author of the compulsively readable, exhaustive, and, oh yeah, Pulitzer Prize winning trilogy America in the King Years) interviewed President Clinton 79 times during his presidency.  Those conversations were so secret that Clinton told almost no one about them and kept the recordings (all of the interviews were taped) in the back of his sock drawer.  They were extremely hush-hush.  Until now!

Also in fun news, what does your Facebook page say about you?  Is there anything you're keeping secret?  Think again.  And no, it's not hackers that can break into your account.  It's psychologists who can figure out all kinds of information about you just by looking at your peeps.  Big brother is watching.  Or at least inferring.  

More tomorrow.

 

Please Sir, May I Have Some More?

Alright, we're going to do this quickly:

Ahmadinejad still hates Israel, still thinks the Holocaust is like a unicorn and is still in power.  

Do you have gay hair?  I do.  I worry about the implications for my husband, who's bald.

Roughly three to five percent of the U.S. population identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgendered.  Yet roughly 20-40% of our homeless youth identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgendered.  

I wonder why that is?

Could it have something to do with the Values Voters Summit hosted by the Family Research Council in Washington, D.C. with speakers like NOM's leader, that fearless defender of inequality, Maggie Gallagher?

If an angel gets its wings every time a bell rings, I wonder if a parent kicks a gay child out of their house every time Maggie Gallagher opens her mouth.

Opponents of President Obama's health care reform often speak of "rationing health care."  That sounds horrific, no?  What if I need something and some government bureaucrat tells me that I can't get it?  Scary.  How about this:  what if I can't afford or qualify for health insurance which ultimately rules out any hope I have of accessing quality health care?  What if?  Well, it's likely that I'd die.  A study shows that 45,000 people die - DIE - each year - EACH YEAR - from lack of access to affordable health care.  I guess that when the opposition speaks of the fear of rationed health care - which, not for nothing, no one has suggested - the fear they speak of is for themselves.  They don't seem to mind that it has already been rationed for millions of others.

An incredible American photographer, the once derided Robert Frank, is having a major new exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Propublica.org brings us the story of Triple Canopy, the private security contractor that replaced the now infamous Blackwater.  The problem?  Their scandal is at least equal to any of Blackwater's scandals.  For example:

Company employees told federal investigators that Triple Canopy swapped booze for weapons and supplies from the U.S. military. They said the company bought guns and other arms on the black market in Iraq. Some worried that the money was flowing into the hands of insurgents, records show.

I hate to be redundant, but just to make this perfectly clear, there are people in this country who are opposed to their tax money going towards someone else's health insurance, but not towards the funding of guns that will be aimed at our very own servicemembers.  I know I'm prone to exaggeration - to sarcastic flourishes that I find funny - so don't take my word for it:

"We're spending a lot of money on these rifles, millions of dollars -- where do you think that money is going to?” Ronald Boline, a former Triple Canopy manager, said in a lawsuit depositionvideotaped in June 2007. “Who are we supporting in doing that? We're supporting people who are trying to kill Americans is the logical conclusion."

I don't know about you, but I feel safer.

Bill O'Reilly is deeply concerned that someone might be teaching children not to bully other children who are perceived as gay.  I can understand that.  As a parent you don't want all the hard work and energy you've put into teaching your child to hate in the name of religion undone by some teacher.

There's so much more to talk about tonight.  I wish I had more time.  But I have to wrap it up.  So I'll leave you with my favorite person, Michele Bachmann.  She's not only concerned that Obama is going to ration our health care, she's concerned that Obama is going to ration our food.  This woman works in the Congress of the United States of America.  Surely if she can get there I can get another job on Broadway, no?

More tomorrow.

Racism: All Black & White?

Why does this country recoil from subtlety?  

Is it because we aren't capable of parsing shades of thought?  Is it because our attention spans are too short to take in layers of different perspective?  Is it just easier to digest black and white, yes and no, right and wrong as we're texting and running and working and calling and shopping than to sit down and understand something that maybe isn't quite so obvious or broad?  Is it that CNN and FOX have been feeding us sound bytes like sugary cereal in an effort to get to the next commercial for so long that we've lost the ability to deal with complex issues?  

A scary thought considering the times we live in. 

I don't know the answer to these questions.  

But I do know that what Jimmy Carter said was this:  "...an overwhelming portion of the intensely demonstrated animosity towards President Barack Obama is based on the fact that he is a black man."  That, to me, is a relatively measured statement.  At no point does he say that any and all criticism of the president or his policies is based on the color of his skin.  And yet that's exactly what has been divined from his statement.  That is what has been repeated and repeated and debated.  That is what is now considered truth.  

That's all the ammunition FOX needs to martyr themselves on the cross of victimization.  People like Bill O'Reilly, who believe that the idea of the existence of racism is ridiculous, because we don't have a race issue in this country, are now jumping up and down claiming that Jimmy Carter said that to criticize Obama is to be racist.  To them, racism is not a reality, it's a political tool used at the president's behest to insulate him from criticism.  (Never mind the reality that he has almost compulsively distanced himself from the issue of race even when it was staring him in the face.  The one notable exception being his speech after the Revered Wright upheaval.)  In turn, it permits the Bill O'Reillys and Glenn Becks of the world to be the fighting underdogs.  The strong, noble truth tellers unafraid to be branded "racist."  The problem is, they've cast themselves in these roles based on either willful or accidental misunderstanding of the facts.  Jimmy Carter never said that criticizing the president always comes from a racist place.  That's simply not what he said.

You might agree with Jimmy Carter.  You might disagree with Jimmy Carter.  But at least base your opinion on fact.  Not overblown, exaggerated, convenient fiction.

It also seems that Joe Wilson yelling "You lie" was racist.  Again, what has gotten lost in that debacle is that it's not what he yelled, it was that he felt that he could.  Many presidents have stood in front of that body and in front of the nation and said all sorts of things.  Sometimes to applause.  Sometimes to silence.  But never to heckling.  It's simply not done.  

If we wish to discuss racism in this country, we must grow up and delve headfirst into that world of subtlety.  Sometimes it's not what we say or do, it's why we say or do it.  Joe Wilson felt that he could heckle the President of the United States in a setting that no one has ever heckled the President of the United States before.  At least not since the Age of Television began.  The question must be asked, why did he think that this course of action would be acceptable?  I don't know what was in his head.  After doing some research on him, I'm guessing not much.  But it certainly does seem that for some reason he didn't feel it necessary to forward the respect to President Obama that has been forwarded to every other president.  

There is one very simple question I'd like to ask him:  Why?

More tomorrow.

How Do I Love South Orange, Let Me Count the Ways

I love South Orange, N.J.!!!  I've loved it since we first came out here.  I love the people.  I love that our block parties bring together different kinds of people in different lines of work in different types of families.  I love that we have never once been the "gay couple."  We have always just been us.  And now, if it's possible, I love South Orange even more.  South Orange has passed a resolution which endorses the passage of a marriage equality bill in New Jersey.  The resolution is only symbolic, but for those of us who live here, it speaks volumes.  It makes the property taxes almost bearable.

All those horrific stories you've heard about insurance companies?  It turns out they're true!  Dropping an HIV positive teenager.  Dropping someone in the middle of chemo.  Health insurance companies giving bonuses to employees who rescind coverage.  I know, it's not news.  We all know these things happen, right?  But sometimes I think it's important to be reminded of the cost of cost before life.

Six months ago, the Obama administration nominated Tom Perez to head up the Justice Department's Civil Rights Division, a division that was gutted, decimated by politics and obsessed with the idea of "reverse discrimination" during W's presidency.  What's the hold up, you might wonder?  Well, the GOP members of the Senate think Mr. Perez might just be very good at and extremely well qualified for his proposed job.

Meanwhile, the perpetually hateful, compulsively misleading and terminally bigoted Family Research Council has planned its annual summit to convene this weekend in Washington, D.C.  Not much of a story there, really.  I am, however, guessing that their motto "Defending Faith, Family & Freedom" really means Defending OUR Faith, OUR Families & OUR Freedom since it's pretty clear that few, if any, Jews will be in attendance at their fantastic, venom filled summit during Rosh Hoshanah.

More tomorrow.